


a doll?

by razussy



Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid, The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: F/F, Gift Work, Not a ship fic, Oneshot, Other, wiggly plot, yes zoya this is part four lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25427902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/razussy/pseuds/razussy
Summary: doug visits melissa and learns about a new product.
Relationships: Doug/Melissa (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	a doll?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zoya113](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya113/gifts).



> tw for the mention that doug is a c*p and brief moment of acab ! nothing serious just thought it would be safe to warn before anyone reads ! i thought abt this a while ago and the idea just came back to me sooo ,, this is my way of harassing my friend<33

“you look busy working hard, maybe i’ll come back later.”

melissa snapped out of her gaze on her computer to turn to who was talking to her. “oh, doug! you’re fine, don’t sweat it, i haven’t been doing anything for a bit.” she waved her hand in dismissal of the last part they said.  
“no? you were pretty focused on your screen there, whatcha up to?” they asked, flicking a sneaky glance over at the computer monitor. thank goodness for sunglasses.  
“well, i read an article about a new product coming out on black friday. it’s like a children’s toy, a monster of some sort.” she began to explain, grabbing a nearby pen to tap it; “i wanted to look more into it just in case i could get one for… someone, haha.” she finished speaking though the tapping flowed on.

doug leaned over the desk a bit and pulled down their shades for a moment to see this children’s toy. seeing it and its name, they can proudly say they have never heard of such a thing before; the neon green fur looked quite soft to them and, to an embarrassing extent, the little creature's face had a lovely charm to it.  
“tickle-me wiggly, huh? what’s the doll for?”  
“in the item description, it says he is a ‘cuddly fwendy-wend from out of this world’. i guess another one of those toys advertised to cheer up lonely kids up, you know? though i’ve only heard adults talk about it,” replied melissa, as she brought the pen up to her mouth and bit onto it. she couldn’t explain it, but she had a bad feeling about this doll. it was passable as cute, indeed, and still she rather kids have nicer toys to grow up with.

“hmm,” they pushed their glasses back up and stood up straight. “i have a cousin who might like him, we should go get one together. you free on black friday?” they gave the office worker a smile, which made her stare at them in disbelief.  
“are you serious? it’ll be sold at lakeside, you know how ridiculous lines are at malls! especially on the craziest shopping day of the year,” said melissa, as she chewed on the cap of the pen. she stopped this as soon as she realized she was doing it. to think about it, this was a free pass on hanging out with one of the chillest people in town… god, get a grip, it isn’t a time to yearn.  
doug only shrugged at what she said. “it’s fine if you don’t want to, just thought it would be nice to talk to you when you aren’t in a work setting.” they patted the top of the desk as a sign of dismissal, mentioning that if she changes her mind to shoot a text their way, then walked away from her assigned station.

melissa sat there staring off into the direction they went, turning her head at her computer again after a second. she pointed the pen in her hand at the screen; “you better make me fwendy-wends with that hot one or i swear to god.”

-

she wanted to go back to bed. it was too early in the morning, hours before she even gets up for work, and she had no energy to put on an autumn outfit. she currently is dealing with a talkative doug, going on about god knows what, but it helped her focus on brushing her teeth and hair.  
“i’m surprised i was able to dip from my shifts tonight, who knew saying christmas shopping was a good enough excuse,” said doug with a laugh, as they leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom.  
“yes, well, that’s why i say acab. sorry, doug.”  
“no harm done, i plan on ditching the job all together soon, anyways. i say acab to sam all the time, it pisses him off.” they grinned at the brief moments, not acknowledging the glare she was giving them, then moved out of the way so the door can be closed. as she changed out of her pajamas, the topic of the doll came up.

“this is for your cousin, you say? since when did you get back into contact with your distant family?” she asked, slipping a kitty cloak over her thin sweater to help keep her torso warm. she didn’t think it was too invasive to ask, especially considering they talked about their family before, but she seemed to miss the awkward pause.  
“you know, they’re in town and i thought it would be appreciated if i got them a gift. i’d like to be close to them again, i guess.” they rubbed the back of their neck, and stared down at the floor. was that really the reason? they didn’t know, they only wished to see if wiggly really was a good cuddle bud, or a good companion.  
melissa made a noise to confirm she was listening to the half-baked answer, throwing on the rest of her clothes and opening the door again. “i need to do my makeup, give me another few minutes. so,” she uncapped eyeliner as she spoke; “how old is your cousin? if they are an adult, i doubt they want a doll as a sign of desiring to fix that broken bond. though i don’t know anymore, everyone over the age of twenty want to get their hands on it.” she leaned closer to the mirror and made a face in order to apply the substance on her lid.

this topic was making doug uncomfortable. what was so wrong with buying a plush toy as a gift for someone? they understand that most friends or couples do that around valentine’s day, why is christmas any different? they couldn’t find a response, stuck in their own mind to try and defend their decision; all they did manage to settle on were arguments that supported melissa’s side on it being… weird.  
“you’re an adult and have all those plush animals in your room, why is a tickle-me wiggly any different, mel?”  
“look at mister truffles and tell me he isn’t way better than wiggly. face it, doug, this whole thing is suspicious. i have not heard a single kid - teenager, even - bring up this doll. they don’t know it was commercialized last year, and still played on their televisions or radios all year!” she swore under her breath when seeing her wing wasn’t straight. she can’t tell if she is surprised or not that doug was acting as if they didn’t have any brain cells, just like everyone else she spoke to. charlotte couldn’t see an issue with buying a doll for sam in some strange hope their marriage would heal. bill was blind to the possibility of no real progress between him and his daughter’s relationship improvement-wise. it is becoming frustrating.

“that... doesn’t sound right. there has to be one person that is younger than both of us to be aware of it without their parents saying anything,” said doug, as they crossed their arms over their chest and leaned against the wall. they were in denial, melissa can tell, it’s how the other’s reacted and she had hoped she could snap them out of their thought process for a moment.  
“teens don’t watch tv anymore- it’s either youtube, netflix, or other streaming services on their laptops and phones. those ads on there will never show things meant for tiny children, since tiny children shouldn’t be on the electronics anyhow.” she wiped off the messed up wing and glanced back at them for a moment. “they use aux cords in the car to play their own music rather than use the radio channels, but you know who still deals with the biased news and offensive talk shows? grown ups. no matter if they are in their twenties or sixties, that demon of a doll put a spell on everybody.”  
oh, now it’s starting to appear as a jaundiced situation.

they licked their bottom lip as if that would help them figure out what’s going on. “what should we do, then? this town is full of sad people, it will be packed full and only so many will listen to us.”  
“how about this: we don’t go at all,” said melissa, as she slammed the liner on the sink counter and sighed in frustration. she can’t do her makeup therefore she cannot go out. “let them figure it out themselves, i’m sure there will be a smartie in the crowd of unsuspecting people.” she put all her makeup away and popped her too-big-for-her-face glasses on again.  
she didn’t want to deal with a problem that was obvious from the start, she always was the one to figure something is wrong. perhaps explain the factors that fuel her confusion, then draw out a plan to prevent the future chaos. guess it was true that generation-z is the only group that has some common sense; very few millennials are invited into the party.  
doug watched her walk passed them quickly, following her into her bedroom, where they saw she was putting on matching socks with some round fella designed on them. if she didn’t want to go anywhere anymore, why was she slipping her shoes on?

“all right, let’s go get a green, furry, little man so i can drop kick him like a football and tell everyone they are the reason the earth is dying.”  
“jesus, mel, okay,” said doug, as they let out a chuckle and shook their head. they didn’t know if they liked her being aggressive or not, it was a change from what they were used to - of course, the time was a few hours before dawn, so it seems she wasn’t much of an early-early bird.  
with that, the duo left the small apartment and drove together to give an attempt at trying to reason with the customers heading to toyzone. what they weren’t ready for was the later events that will take place, along with a large commotion that they can’t fight off alone.


End file.
